21 Reasons Why
Year 12 Student Blog

Hammond, SamanthaI’ve been reading this QACI Quirks column for three years now, and I’ve noticed a tradition building. It’s sly, sneaky, insinuating itself into the heart of this column. It’s a tradition started with Stephany Banal 2015, and taken up by Kat Ponomarenko 2016 during her time at the helm of QACI Quirks.

It’s the ‘x reasons you know you’re a QACI kid’ column.

Since I began writing at the start of this year, I have felt the urge to follow in the footsteps of Steph and Kat—to enumerate and distil the essence of the QACI student into easily-readable dot points that we can all read and relate to. “Do it,” the ghosts of QACI Quirkers past whispered to me. But still I asked myself—“Hasn’t it been done already? Shouldn’t you think of something new?”

The temptation became stronger and stronger as I found myself busier and busier—the allure of a column with a set form, a short column I didn’t have to think about, almost overwhelming me. My resolve began to falter, my beliefs in originality to lessen. Clearly, something had to be done.

So here I place before you, for all posterity:

21 reasons why I will NOT be writing a ’21 reasons why you know you’re a QACI kid’ column

  1. Because of my moral commitment to choosing one’s own path and defying tradition (aka the version of Robert Frost who lives in my head)
    1. I usually make it a point of honour never to listen to Robert Frost, but still
  2. Because I can’t think of 21 things to write about
    1. 17 is my brain’s listicle asymptote
  3. Because this column is aimed at Year 12s, and we’re all too busy to read it
  4. Because I don’t have time because I am studying for mock exams
  5. Because 21 as a number offends me and I am taking a stand against it
  6. Because we’ve already had enough ‘reasons why’ for one year (thanks, Netflix)
  7. Because TOK has taught me that QACI kids are a social construct
    1. In fact, QACI is a social construct
    2. In fact, I am a social construct
    3. I cannot participate in the perpetuation of this myth
    4. It is my duty to enlighten the citizenry
  8. Because because because because because…the wonderful Wizard of Oz because…
    1. I’m going to stop saying ‘because’ at the start of each item now
    2. To be honest the only reason I used them is because I wanted to make this joke
  9. Lists, as an inherently linear form of writing, are allied with the realism genre, the Hero’s Journey, and Freytag’s Pyramid, and are trying to oppress me
  10. I would have to write about how cool it is to have elevators, and as a theatre student I never take the elevators
    1. Never
    2. Never ever
    3. The version of me you saw in the elevator yesterday was a social construct
  11. It was cold this morning
  12. Writing such a list would not count for CAS and therefore I am not interested
  13. Lists are too organised for my brain to cope with
  14. I am holding a grudge against QACI (it made me do the EE)
  15. English Lit has taught me that if it doesn’t have a topic sentence, it isn’t a real piece of writing
    1. I suppose I could write a PEEL paragraph for each dot point
    2. But that seems a little excessive
  16. The QACI Kid is Undefinable and Individual
    1. We are elusive!
    2. We have no common factors!
    3. We are artists!
    4. Our thoughtful and complex souls cannot be reduced to twenty-one dot points written by someone who has not had enough sleep!
  17. I don’t like writing lists in Word
    1. It tries to take away my Earned Autonomy by formatting them automatically
  18. We students have secrets we cannot share with the general populace
    1. I am bound by a vow of silence to never reveal the True Nature of QACI Kid-ness
  19. Writing such a list would allow me to procrastinate doing More Useful Homework
    1. And as an exemplary student I would NEVER do such a thing
  20. I don’t want to
  21. Two people have already written such lists, and plagiarism is against the IB Code of Conduct
    1. I don’t want to lose my diploma
    2. I’m already in danger of failing CAS due to a Lack of Going Outside
    3. I don’t need any more sticking points

…article written by Samantha Hammond, Year 12